INTJ type description by D.Keirsey
INTJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss
In the latter description, I found this bit particularly spot-on for me:
. . . many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.I probably am divulging more about myself here than I would usually prefer to by indicating the relevance of that statement to me, but it was such a succinct explanation of something I have perceived about myself, but hadn't named; it was exciting to me to see I am not the only one who behaves this way!
This is also really relevant to me:
In particular, the bit about not readily grasping social rituals -- that is SO me, especially up through a year or two ago and, to some extent, still today. As I get older and more exposure to people and their needs, I realize how important social interaction, even small talk, can be for other people. While I can not say I really care for small talk that much myself, I use it as a form of empathy. This is where the "surface conformism" comes in.
Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.
Also, the last bit about expecting inexhaustible rasonability and directness are true for me as well. Funny.
I also love the list of people of the same type at the end of the second analysis. I am in some odd company.